You are actually supported beyond your wildest dreams and imagination
If you feel alone and as if you have no one to turn to – please be assured that this is so common amongst people who have had abusive relationships. I guess you could say, you are not alone in feeling alone!
In fact making sure you feel that way is one of the strategies of narcissists.
They isolate you from your close friends and family, they tell lies about you so others think you are crazy, untrustworthy or to be avoided. And they make you feel that no one actually cares anyway – except for them.
I want to move on from what they think and get down to some solutions and truths to help you know that you are in fact, supported beyond your wildest dreams and imagination.
But first here are a few reasons why I felt so alone and the repercussions of that mistaken belief.
During my time of recovering from a narcissistic abusive relationship and when I was trying to escape from his ties, I found it really hard to share what I was going through and ask for help from people. I was working in a large organisation and most of the time was able to put on a smiling face so most people did not know what was going on. There were a few reasons:-
1. I didn’t want to be open about my grief and sad stories because to be honest, I felt like it was boring to people (oh here she goes again talking about that loser why doesn’t she just move on).
2. I felt confused and really struggled to articulate all the mind games he was playing with me in a way that would make sense to other people because my own mind was in such a muddle.
3. A couple of times when I did let it all come out, I went back to him. And then I just felt ridiculous and ashamed. I did not want to repeat that mistake.
4. I had already isolated myself from friends during the relationship and did not have the energy to re-establish relationships – because of shame and pride.
5. I did not know who to trust. He had told so many lies about me to people it was hard to know whether people thought I was crazy, having affairs, a terrible mother etc. I became paranoid about who was a friend or foe and felt like I could not trust my own judgement because I had made such an error of judgement with him.
6. I had already isolated myself from old friends and family by moving to the other side of the world (because one of my core limiting beliefs from early childhood has always been that I am alone and unsupported, so like most mistaken beliefs, it became a self-fulfilling prophecy).
7. Physical abuse is easy to explain and immediately abhorrent to people. I was made to feel by many people (including Women’s Refuge when I went to them for help) that because he was not physically hurting me that it wasn’t so bad and I wasn’t eligible for assistance.
Instead, I turned to spirituality and the natural world around – me at the same time as working on my own core beliefs about trust, loving myself and feeling safe.
I shared my sorrows and fears with the angels through guided meditations and prayers. I asked Archangel Raphael for healing. I prayed to Archangel Michael for protection and to cut the ties that held me to my ex.
I learned that I could also call on my ancestors to help me. We have a long line of female (and of course male) ancestors who are around us, holding us, cherishing us, just waiting for us to ask for help. Because they cannot do it without us asking.
I sat with the trees, I lay on the grass and walked on the beach and felt the waves lapping at my feet and asked nature to please take away the pain. Because that is what it can do, And does so with complete and unconditional love. I used essential oils to bring calm and serenity to my stress and anxiety.
I asked for guidance and help.
I spoke to Mother Mary and White Tara who are both nurturing and mothering goddesses.
I asked for the right people to come into my life who could help me. I asked for the knowledge I needed to come to me. The right lawyer, the right house for us to live in.
Most of all I prayed for the safety of my children. During the times they were with their father, but also in the long term. We were going through custody battles so I prayed that whatever was the absolute best solution for my children, that that should happen. And that I would accept it, because that is what I had prayed for.
Now I am not a religious by institutional standards.
But I developed FAITH.
And miracles started to happen. Because I promise you that if you ask for what is good and true, and you keep asking for it and seeing it and believing it, it will happen.
ASK and you SHALL RECEIVE.
Yes, the support is there. You can feel it like a warm blanket, you just need to allow it. And once you welcome in this kind of support, and start to believe that you are supported, then support starts to appear for you in more concrete ways too.
I will share a couple of miracles around that in another story but for now I will leave you with this interesting information which is where I first started to become aware of the power of this concept.
Most people who have had a near death experience say the same thing about their time on the other side. They all talk about an incredible feeling of love and support that is on the other side. But that this love and support is actually around us all the time. And that if people only knew that this is around them, they could access it just by asking. Wow, what an incredibly different world they would live in.
So now you do …
If you would like help accessing this support, clearing away the fog so you can see clearer or regaining faith, please contact me. I can help. But we need to do it together.