I am invisible

I am invisible

I want to be totally transparent about this one.

Excuse the pun.

No really, I want to be totally clear,

Aagh, can’t stop myself.

Now seriously, I do want to be transparent and clear.

This is one I am currently working through and I am loving the journey so far, for all the amazing things it has shown me about my past patterns.

You see I’m one of those weird people that actually likes it when I find out what a dork I’ve been. When I find out something out about myself that has kept me stuck for so long.

I love those aha moments when I can slap myself on the forehead and say, Melissa, you dumbass. Why didn’t you see this before. But I still love you. And thank goodness you see it now.

So back to the main headline.

There are many reasons why we may hold the mistaken belief that we are invisible. For some of us, being invisible is actually how we have been able to stay safe. Without having the unwanted attention of other people.

If anyone has come from an abusive childhood you will know what I am talking about.

If anyone has ever experienced the unwanted attentions of a man – and then been blamed for those attentions, you will know what I am talking about.

If anyone has ever experienced jealousy (read: bitchiness) for shining your light too bright, you will know what I mean.

When we have had that kind of injustice, we learn to hide ourselves. If we are powerful, we may even be able to put up a cloak that hides our shining light. Dimming it so we do not allow our goldeness to “upset others.”

So yes, it keeps us safe, in some ways.

But in other ways it keeps us down. It stops us from being our full, glorious selves. It stops the flow of all that we are meant to be.

So let me talk about a few things that us “I am invisible people” do and how it gets played out in our lives.

One of my biggies was that I was not clear about my needs and desires. In the past I have not been totally honest about what it is I truly want.

I even remember a conversation where my ex-husband (narcissist, abusive, master manipulator) would say, “so what do you want to do” and I’d say, “I don’t mind, what do you want to do”, and he’d say, “I don’t know what do you want to do” ….(good grief, forehead slapping time) and all the time I’d know exactly what I wanted but was too afraid to say it in case it upset him and provoked another outburst.

But it also happened in relationships with kind and wonderful men, and in friendships. I would put others needs before my own, do what they wanted to do, not ask for the help that I really needed. You catch my drift.

“I am invisible” people can end up exhausted and then at the point where they think, no one cares about me and what I want. We create the scenarios where our story “I am invisible’ keeps repeating. Gosh we’re clever aren’t we. When really all we had to do was ask.

A male healer friend of mine told me many years ago that all a man really wants is to make his woman happy, and when he does that, he walks around with a puffed out chest and feels on top of the world.

Nice. But of course, they are not mind readers. Well, most of them aren’t. Most need some (or maybe a lot!) of guidance.

Another way the “I am invisible” story plays out is that our voice is not heard. We keep repeating things and people do not hear what we have to say. Yet what we have to say is important.


Really important.

But because we find ways of keeping ourselves small, our voice does not reach out as it should. It is not shouted from the rooftops as it should.

How does that play out in our lives? Our kids don’t listen to us. We get passed over at work, even when we’ve been doing all the hard work. Our partner does not hear us.

And what can we do to overcome it?

The way to overcome all of these stories is to first recognise them. Cry some tears if they are needed. Have a little chuckle at ourselves if it’s needed. Slap ourselves on the forehead for being such a dumbass and then let it go.

And then start showing up.

Allow yourself to shine if you think you are invisible

Start giving yourself the opportunity to shine. Go public.

Wear vibrant and sexy clothes.

Stand tall.

Affirm to yourself that what you have to say and do matters. Give yourself the opportunity to

make this so.

So I write this now, because I know that what I have to say needs to be heard by some of you. And that I can help people by saying it.

And I am guided to also say that there is often deep, deep trauma and past life stuff that needs to be released. After all, we have had many many atrocities in our lifetimes.

But that we can become the masters of our story. We can rewrite the story. We can create the happy endings.

It is safe to stand proud in our golden, shimmering awesomeness.

With love


I would like to thank my Quantum Practitioner teachers for inspiring me to write this. And also the work of Claire Zammit.

I’ve been training as a Quantum Essence practitioner, which entails deep diving into a different nature essence each week. Lifting the veil, transforming, journaling to bring up all the cloaks that I have been been covering myself with and discovering my true potential and authentic self.

If you are interested in embarking on this incredible journey of change – where you can truly feel safe to be your all-powerful safe, then contact me@melissa.net.nz.

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